A
teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
Johnny.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot".
The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking".
Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU.
There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice
cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal,
replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and
sucked the cone"
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the
wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he
needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to
go."
Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but
if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!!!"
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands
from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little =
Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful,.....just fucking beautiful!
