The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired, straight away
his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a
straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of
points that he wished. The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his
head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a cheque for $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.
Eight feet. He walked out with a cheque for $960,000. When the third general, a grizzled old
Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider; pointing out the nice cheques the previous two generals had just
received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine but that he'd better get the
medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to
drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work
back. "My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?" The general replied, "In Vietnam."
