Eskimosjokes

Calories Burned During Sex:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent..... ......... ......... . .12 Calories
Without her consent..... ......... ................. .......2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands....... ......... ......... . 8 Calories
With one hand........ ......... ......... ................. .12 Calories
With your teeth....... ......... ......... .485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection.... ......... ......... ......... .....6 Calories
Without an erection ............ ......... .3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary.. ......... ............ ................ .12 Calories
69 lying down........ ......... ......... .....78 Calories
69 standing up.......... ......... ......... ..812 Calories
Wheelbarrow. ......... ......... ......... .216 Calories
Doggy Style....... . ......... ......... 326 Calories
Italian chandelier.. ......... ......... .2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real........ ......... ......... ......... .112 Calories
Fake........ . ........ ......... ...........1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging... ............ . ...........18 Calories
Getting up immediately. ......... ................. ......36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately. ..816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years....... ......... ......... ......... .......36 Calories
30-39 years....... ......... ......... . .......80 Calories
40-49 years....... . ......... ......... .....124 Calories
50-59 years....... ......... ......... . .1,972 Calories
60-69 years....... . ........ ......... .7,916 Calories
70 and over........ ......... ......Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS
Calmly...... . ......... ................. ...............32 Calories
In a hurry....... ........ ......... . .........98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door........ ...5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door........ ...13,521 Calories

Results may vary.

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD..

Right now, as you read this, 60 Million Americans are having SEX!

And you're on the computer!!!