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Thanks to AuldonT for sharing this joke with us.
Calories Burned
During Sex:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent..... ......... ......... . .12 Calories Without her consent..... ......... ................. .......2,187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands....... ......... ......... . 8 Calories With one hand........ ......... ......... ................. .12 Calories With your teeth....... ......... ......... .485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection.... ......... ......... ......... .....6 Calories Without an erection ............ ......... .3,315 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary.. ......... ............ ................ .12 Calories 69 lying down........ ......... ......... .....78 Calories 69 standing up.......... ......... ......... ..812 Calories Wheelbarrow. ......... ......... ......... .216 Calories Doggy Style....... . ......... ......... 326 Calories Italian chandelier.. ......... ......... .2,912 Calories ORGASMS: Real........ ......... ......... ......... .112 Calories Fake........ . ........ ......... ...........1,315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging... ............ . ...........18 Calories Getting up immediately. ......... ................. ......36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately. ..816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years....... ......... ......... ......... .......36 Calories 30-39 years....... ......... ......... . .......80 Calories 40-49 years....... . ......... ......... .....124 Calories 50-59 years....... ......... ......... . .1,972 Calories 60-69 years....... . ........ ......... .7,916 Calories 70 and over........ ......... ......Results are still pending DRESSING AFTERWARDS Calmly...... . ......... ................. ...............32 Calories In a hurry....... ........ ......... . .........98 Calories With her father knocking at the door........ ...5,218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door........ ...13,521 Calories Results may vary. THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD.. Right now, as you read this, 60 Million Americans are having SEX! And you're on the computer!!!
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