Thanks to Pat & Sue for sharing this
jokes with us.
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home
from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over
the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the
driver, "where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to
drink this evening". "I did all right," the drunk says with a
smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his
arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out
of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a
minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning
service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my
dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband
passed
away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.
Tell me, Mary, did he
have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father.."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He
said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'"
